I find a world of things interesting, but here are just a few.
mom: what was that?
me: my shirt fell
mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that...
me: i was in it
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
This is the most beautiful post on Tumblr.
waiter. there’s a fly in my soup. now there’s 2 flies. now they’re mating, waiter are you getting this
tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe